One thing I have learnt over the years is to be “true to me”. I am a people pleaser and I would think a happy person, and over the years I have accepted things only to make the other person happy! We have all done it, and that is what makes this world wonderful, made compromises, however if you are not being true to you and the compromise is to your detriment you really do need to speak up! – But what happens when you do????
I have found my tolerance has decreased on Online Dating and I have become a bit of a sceptic! This is due to the number of scammers and con artists that are trying to fool innocent people via these sites! Their motive….Money!
They have a way on praying on the vulnerable, men & women, telling them they want a relationship, that they have a great job, their photos are gorgeous, and they know just what to say to have you believing every word, they even have you feeling sorry for them due to their circumstances! The thing about these scammers is that they are not in a rush, they spend time building rapport with you, saying you are just what they are searching for, you have so much in common, they also can, but not always ask for a “Whats app” address or email address and want to get off the sites to speak with you. Why? They will then have your mobile number, and/or your email address. They will send you numerous different photos, at different times of the day, send you photos of their work, out with friends……..This sounds like normal everyday conversation doesn’t it??….They are good, will even speak with you on the phone, saying they have an accent!
How they intend to get money from you is they may spend weeks or months having you slowly fall them, they say they want to meet, they are overseas on work or interstate and are dying to meet you, they have no one, just you, they set up a day and time, and just before you are due to meet, they have had everything stolen, they cant get to you as they have no money, “if you can send me some money I will then be able to meet you”, they have spent time building trust with you, you think how could this not be real? but they don’t meet you, but STILL keep in contact with you as they know you will send money. They will make plans to meet, as you are their soulmate, and something else will happen, and ask for money again……Unfortunately I have heard way too many of these stories of women and men losing tens of thousands of dollars to these vial people………..How do you know if they are scamming you or not?
- The Grammar is very bad, lots of spelling mistakes, and no flow to their conversation.
- They are usually widowed, have no children (or sometimes 1 or two that live with a friend, while they are away working)- so you have empathy for them.
- No family, parents have passed or been killed traumatically, there is no-one in their life to assist them.
- They “usually” live overseas or work overseas, U.S. Army, Marines, Government job.
If you have noticed any if not all of these, alarm bells should be ringing, red flags flying up everywhere!! Stop talking with them and whoBlock them immediately!!!
Don’t think – ohhh but they are so nice, he or she is drop dead gorgeous…NOOOOOOOO!!!Block them and report them immediately!!
They steal peoples identity usually through Facebook, so they have oodles of photos in different situations to send you. I know of two people, one male and one female, that were on a dating site, who are in happy relationships and had no idea that someone was pretending to be them!! The IP address was traced and it came from Nigeria!
I think I would report around 2 of these scammers a week! There are even women messaging women saying that they have found love on this site and are going off of it, however their male friend was looking over their shoulder and saw your profile and asked her to contact you! Nooooooooo a scammer! I have had the same woman contact me twice over a 2 month period, with the exact same message! and she hasn’t gone offline!
I have had a guy really convince me, even spoke to me several times on the phone yet my gut instinct was telling me something wasn’t right, I then googled his mobile number and all these messages came up from women over the last few days, (we had been speaking for 2 weeks), saying that he sucks you in, is a scammer and all the photos that he had sent me, other women had them too and posted them online, saying it was all lies! This guy said he was a mining engineer and sent photos of his workplace to really try to authenticate what he was saying! I know a little about mining and asked him questions, he usually just agreed with me, and I told him about a job opening and he told me he had already applied….a red flag went up! I knew they were not advertising for work yet, but I thought he must know someone! He said he lived in the CBD, and would come home soon! We have a way of not wanting to believe, we defend someone we haven’t even met……why do we do that?????? Do we want it to be real? or do we not want to think that there couldn’t be such mean nasty people out there who have no feelings or empathy for who they are speaking to or care what they are doing?
These people give Internet Dating a bad name! These people are the ones our friends and family only hear about or read about in the paper, and want to concentrate on and tell us we shouldn’t be online dating, you don’t know who you are talking to! That is correct, hence meeting quickly, but hey someone you meet in a bar can be telling you just as many lies, just cause you meet them face to face doesn’t mean they are any better! Friends and family do not seem to want to hear of the thousands of happy people that have met their partners online!
Please be aware of scammers, and be true to you, if your instinct is telling you it doesn’t seem right, listen to it! It is ALWAYS right! Block and move on …….NEXT! 🙂
As I have written about in previous blogs, don’t wait too long to meet, yes sometimes difficulties are there, but if they don’t have time to meet you for a coffee, what chance do you have of them having time to get to know each other face to face!
Sorry this was a more serious blog, but it is getting bad out there and the more people that are aware and blocking and reporting these scammers the better the online dating community will be!
I promise the next blog will have more crazy funny insane stories!….its going to be about a man who loves bunny rabbits and sleeps with a stuffed one! hahaha – stay tuned….
Happy Dating! 🙂