“ARE OUR EXPECATIONS TOO HIGH IN THE DATING WORLD?”

After being single such a long time, 14 years, and only having a few short term relationships, it has often come up in conversation, mostly with married people, that my expectations are too high!

Hmmmmmm……

I don’t think they are, in fact I think my expectations have waned due to the fact I am reaching the top of the pyramid and there is not much up there, I feel I am at the top of the pear tree…all the younger fresh fruit is at the bottom and ripe for picking, snatched up very quickly, the mid range of the tree is nice, few blemishes but that’s ok, then the top of the tree……the fruit has been picked at by birds, chewed up and spat out, it has gone rotten, some have fallen on the ground , been trode on, and the few pieces of fruit left hanging on the top of the tree have so many things wrong with them that no one wants them…they are left in the sun, start shrivelling up , and harden so much that you need a nutcracker to get inside!2e8057fbdf76f437720e410c6ad97929

That is a true analogy of dating over 50. Hence why I am attracted to younger guys, the middle of the tree, they have had some rough times, but mostly seem to get over it ok, lower branches are still appealing just to remember what fresh fruit is like, very refreshing as they want no hassles, are fun, and nothing is an issue, so chilled and relaxed.

I am looking for a man I can connect with, and honestly his age is really not an issue for me, if I find a guy that is in his 60’s then that is fine, however if I find a guy in his late 30’s or early 40’s society says no no no! What is the chance of finding a man not only that I am physically attracted too but mentally stimulated by in their late 50’s to early 60’s…remember this is the top of the tree…not much up there and to find a connection well youΒ  have to be damn lucky! And then if you do connect on those levels, does he take medication? Most men, in my experience, have either got depression, bipolar, bitterness inside because of their ex, children who don’t talk to them, very young children (under 10), or they have no energy , are very negative and dress like 80 year olds!!!!

For all you married people out there, not only do I hope you realise the “grass is NOT greener” but you have no fu..k .ng idea what it is like in the dating world! Yes we can have fun and go out with different men, and have the butterflies in our tummy that you haven’t felt in years, and I’m sure you realise from my blog so far so very funny and Baby-shaped-pears-Chinaweird experiences ,however this is all short lived, to be able to come home to a man who you know adores you deep down, cares about you, talks about your day, someone to go to dinner with, just sit quietly on the couch with, talk about the future with……..this is missing in my life and many single’s life, both male and female, and most of us long for this again.

However in saying all of this, we also wont settle, I would prefer to be single and happy (albeit at times lonely) than be in an unhappy relationship!

article-2451020-1882CEE2000005DC-330_634x675Maybe I do want it all, the cute guy that when I look at him I just want to jump his bones, Yes this will wane over time, but I want it in the beginning, I want him to think the same about me, I want to be able to talk to him for hours about my inner most secrets and thoughts (no not my sexual fantasies, head out the gutter! lol..or actually yeah that too! πŸ˜‰ ), similar interests, a love for family, plans for the future, someone to travel with but mostly a man I can be myself with and laugh till my belly hurts!Β  Married friends…is this asking too much?? Do you really think that this is high expectations?

It probably is for the top of the tree…..however the middle and the lower article-0-094BCA38000005DC-473_468x598branches……..think I will head down there and try my luck !!!

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Happy Dating! πŸ™‚

 

 

 

 

 

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” HOW DO YOU KNOW IF HE IS INTO YOU? “

This is a question we have all asked ourselves….and we never ask it about men who we are not into, we don’t care if they are into us as we are not into them!……For most of “us gals” we always seem to want the one that isn’t into us…….but sometimes they are! πŸ™‚

How do you know?…….

I have gone on many dates, some have been amazing, the mental stimulation was there, the physical attraction was there, we left each other with a kiss on the cheek and him saying he would like to take me out again….the butterflies were there, the excitement that “wow” finally I have met “the one!”……we go out again, have a lovely time, and I am liking him more than ever, we are laughing having a great night, then it comes to the kiss goodbye, not on the cheek but a bit more of a pash! Oh yeah it’s good…( a kiss has to be good!)Β  Ok I think he likes me, I like him…. and then I never hear from him again!!! WTF???…….I start being the stalker, txting him, how is your day?Β  I may get one or two word answers, I start making up excuses for him, oh he must be busy, oh he has his kids this week, oh he is away for work……NO NO NO…He just is NOT into YOU!thC4NLP9KR

Why the change, why was it so good for you and not for him??

We are wired differently, however I experienced this in the reverse, so I can now sort of (could never fully) understand a mans way of thinking!! ( I should be a millionaire with this revelation! Who thought that a woman could understand a man!! hahahaha)

I met a lovely man a few years ago, he treated me like a princess, took me out, was very chivalrous, would call me all the time, I didn’t need to ask, I KNEW he was into me, his actions were louder than words, but here is the switch, most women would be so happy with this, but for me, something was missing, when he called me ALL the time, I started ignoring his calls and not answering until I had to, I didn’t respond to EVERY text, I was cutting our conversations short, I liked this guy, he was lovely, but what was it???? No matter how much I wanted it there, that animal attraction, that chemical attraction, theΒ  Grrrrr I want to jump your bones, just wasn’t there! It was sad to me………I think I was becoming a man!!! This is what they do to us!! So maybe that is it….they really like you, but something is missing so they don’t want to pursue it anymore?

When I look back on some relationships (short) I could see how I was so into the guy, and him just not that much into me, didn’t return my texts all the time, I would make excuses for him, as I would never want to think it was ME! I’m wonderful, how could he not be into me??? lol, ….but when the right one comes along….You will know as it will slap you in the face!

I have a girlfriend who met her partner on RSVP, the first date they had together he was ga ga all over her, he even wanted to meet me and asked me what he could do to have her as a girlfriend. He clearly was and still is so into her, she never once has had to question his feelings for her, his actions have clearly spoken to her. Five years down the track they are still madly in love.

My best friend from High School met her partner on RSVP, at first she thought he was nice, she needed a second date to see what she thought of him, since that second date they have barely been apart and it is now close to 10 years! They also had 2 small children each and all moved in together like The Brady Bunch and it worked! Everyone got along and still does! He adores her and tells her this, and leaves her beautiful messages, she has never had to question if he is into her, he loves her with all his heart.thE29RR4X4

I have experienced it only once, recently, the difference I found is that my feelings were reciprocated! I have never felt like this with any guy I have dated, we just couldn’t stop staring at each other from the moment we had our first coffee date, we held hands straight away, we literally did not want to leave each other, it was sickening…but ASWESOME!!! We spoke for hours on the phone everyday that we were not seeing each other, it couldn’t be sustained, but it was so good, to have someone feel about you the way you feel about them was such an awesome feeling, and one I hadn’t felt for a long, long, time. This relationship, sadly and unfortunately had to end due to other reasons beyond either of our control, and it was devastating to both of us, however I now have the benchmark of what I am looking for and also the knowledge of knowing the signs to know ” Is he into me!”

You should never have to make excuses for him and you should never have to ask yourself “Is He Into Me?” You will know in your heart….Couples-In-Love-26

Happy Dating! πŸ™‚

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