” HOW DO YOU KNOW IF HE IS INTO YOU? “

This is a question we have all asked ourselves….and we never ask it about men who we are not into, we don’t care if they are into us as we are not into them!……For most of “us gals” we always seem to want the one that isn’t into us…….but sometimes they are! 🙂

How do you know?…….

I have gone on many dates, some have been amazing, the mental stimulation was there, the physical attraction was there, we left each other with a kiss on the cheek and him saying he would like to take me out again….the butterflies were there, the excitement that “wow” finally I have met “the one!”……we go out again, have a lovely time, and I am liking him more than ever, we are laughing having a great night, then it comes to the kiss goodbye, not on the cheek but a bit more of a pash! Oh yeah it’s good…( a kiss has to be good!)  Ok I think he likes me, I like him…. and then I never hear from him again!!! WTF???…….I start being the stalker, txting him, how is your day?  I may get one or two word answers, I start making up excuses for him, oh he must be busy, oh he has his kids this week, oh he is away for work……NO NO NO…He just is NOT into YOU!thC4NLP9KR

Why the change, why was it so good for you and not for him??

We are wired differently, however I experienced this in the reverse, so I can now sort of (could never fully) understand a mans way of thinking!! ( I should be a millionaire with this revelation! Who thought that a woman could understand a man!! hahahaha)

I met a lovely man a few years ago, he treated me like a princess, took me out, was very chivalrous, would call me all the time, I didn’t need to ask, I KNEW he was into me, his actions were louder than words, but here is the switch, most women would be so happy with this, but for me, something was missing, when he called me ALL the time, I started ignoring his calls and not answering until I had to, I didn’t respond to EVERY text, I was cutting our conversations short, I liked this guy, he was lovely, but what was it???? No matter how much I wanted it there, that animal attraction, that chemical attraction, the  Grrrrr I want to jump your bones, just wasn’t there! It was sad to me………I think I was becoming a man!!! This is what they do to us!! So maybe that is it….they really like you, but something is missing so they don’t want to pursue it anymore?

When I look back on some relationships (short) I could see how I was so into the guy, and him just not that much into me, didn’t return my texts all the time, I would make excuses for him, as I would never want to think it was ME! I’m wonderful, how could he not be into me??? lol, ….but when the right one comes along….You will know as it will slap you in the face!

I have a girlfriend who met her partner on RSVP, the first date they had together he was ga ga all over her, he even wanted to meet me and asked me what he could do to have her as a girlfriend. He clearly was and still is so into her, she never once has had to question his feelings for her, his actions have clearly spoken to her. Five years down the track they are still madly in love.

My best friend from High School met her partner on RSVP, at first she thought he was nice, she needed a second date to see what she thought of him, since that second date they have barely been apart and it is now close to 10 years! They also had 2 small children each and all moved in together like The Brady Bunch and it worked! Everyone got along and still does! He adores her and tells her this, and leaves her beautiful messages, she has never had to question if he is into her, he loves her with all his heart.thE29RR4X4

I have experienced it only once, recently, the difference I found is that my feelings were reciprocated! I have never felt like this with any guy I have dated, we just couldn’t stop staring at each other from the moment we had our first coffee date, we held hands straight away, we literally did not want to leave each other, it was sickening…but ASWESOME!!! We spoke for hours on the phone everyday that we were not seeing each other, it couldn’t be sustained, but it was so good, to have someone feel about you the way you feel about them was such an awesome feeling, and one I hadn’t felt for a long, long, time. This relationship, sadly and unfortunately had to end due to other reasons beyond either of our control, and it was devastating to both of us, however I now have the benchmark of what I am looking for and also the knowledge of knowing the signs to know ” Is he into me!”

You should never have to make excuses for him and you should never have to ask yourself “Is He Into Me?” You will know in your heart….Couples-In-Love-26

Happy Dating! 🙂

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“THE BUNNY BOILER & THE COP!”

A little bit of continuance on my last blog about scammers…..you also need to be wary of nutters! Many of them, on the Internet dating sites and in the street to be honest! I have been accused of being one, WTF, we all know THAT isn’t true!! hahaha , I have had my nutter moments and my friends know of Psycho Miss T when she is pushed but that is another blog! Anyway….

With my full time job, my mobile phone number is publicised on websites and ads, last year I had a guy msg me and ask me if I wanted to go on a date for dinner and the movies, he knew my first name and I assumed I had met him off a dating site and had forgotten about him! So many men I talk to,  so little time to remember them all! lol At the time I was in a relationship and told this guy thanks but no thanks! As it turned out unbeknownst to me I started talking to him on Plenty of Fish (POF) recently, he seemed nice, cute photos, then we exchanged phone numbers and as I entered his, the text appeared from 8 months ago about dinner and the movie! I certainly didn’t recognise his photos and asked him if we had spoke before? He couldn’t remember and then when I sent him the prior text he remembered that he had contacted me off my work website as he liked my photo!!! Stalker!!! He actually told me that “this is every stalkers dream” I stalked you on a website and now we are talking via an internet dating site!! I was sort of flattered but a bit apprehensive too, he started telling me that he has a pet bunny rabbit , this guy was 46 btw, he started emailing me photos of his bunny rabbit, his email name was Bunnylove, then he told me he slept with a stuffed bunny rabbit!!! how-to-draw-a-bunny-6-5Ok alarm bells were ringing, red flags flying, and this guy knows my mobile and where I work! Ok stay calm, be nice, he wanted to meet and I was curious but my common sense stepped in and said no you idiot do not meet  this bunny guy!! So I let him down nicely saying that I had caught up with my ex and we were going to try again! (good excuse to use because if they are a crazy then they know a man is going to be around!) Well for the next few days I kept receiving abusive, degrading texts! I didn’t respond as I didn’t want him turning up at my work, and in the end I blocked him! I never even met this guy, imagine how he would have reacted if I met him??

I was telling a friend of mine about this, he is a police officer, one of those special ones who gears up when the really bad stuff happens, and a guy I dated for a short time! (looks cute in uniform! lol) We are still friends, we talk and catch up from time to time, I don’t like to have bad blood with anyone I have dated, life is too short, and this guy, the cop makes me laugh so much! So when I was telling him about the bunny boiler, he told me that on Facebook, you can type a persons mobile number into the Search bar and their profile will come up! I didn’t know this, so you can now see if the guy you are talking to on the phone is really him! It does only work if their number is on their Facebook account, and in my friends words, men are dumb and will have their number on there! So girls, remove your number off your Facebook account!

When I met my friend the cop, we met on a dating site, we chatted for a while and decided to meet for a drink. We met out the front of  this cute bar, he was such a gentleman, ordered a cheese platter and a beautiful bottle of wine, we were having great conversation for around 2 hours, then he realised the time had gotten away, as he surprised me and had bought gold class tickets for a movie! What a guy!  I felt really comfortable with him so I got in his car with him to head to the theatre. Once in there we didn’t get to see much of the movie as he was just so kissable! haha…we decided to leave 30 mins into the movie and go parking! I felt like a teenager again! man-and-woman-having-romantic-time-in-carHe drove to a park where we stopped and jumped in the back seat, it was getting a little amorous, a few pieces of clothing had been removed, the windows had fogged up and then we saw head lights behind us. At first we thought it was someone else “parking”, until we got the tap on the window with a torch from a female police officer!!! OMFG!!!  I didn’t know if I should laugh or cry! My friend quickly put on his t-shirt and jumped out barefoot saying “It’s Ok, I’m a cop!” hahahaha What the?? He did some fast, smooth talking and we were fortunate that they hadn’t done their job properly and entered his rego into their system! He could have lost his job I found out later! I could hear the two police officers laughing, and at this stage I was feeling embarrassed and had sunk soooo low into the back seat! He got back in the car, we put on the demister so we could see and just started laughing! How old are we?????

It doesn’t matter! You are never too old to have fun and a great night of laughs! Just be safe! The two of us have a story and memories of such a fun crazy night, and we laugh about it over a bottle of red each time we catch up!

Live life, enjoy, dating can be laborious, embrace it,  along the way to finding “the one”  you can meet people that you will have a life time friendship with, secrets, and lots of laughs, I know I have!

Happy Dating 🙂

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“FUN TIME! NOT A LONG TIME!”

I remember I had my first date with a man around 6 months after my husband and I separated, It went well, spoke on the phone, had a coffee date and I must say I thought to myself “Well, the grass IS greener!”

The guy I met was the first guy I had spoken to on RSVP in fact I was scrolling through the site and his profile caught my eye, and he was the reason I signed up so I could send him a “Kiss”. The thing I loved back then was I felt like I was at an all you can eat smorgasbord!!! haha…All these single men, photos, descriptions, yes, yes, no, yes ….wow, couldn’t believe it could be this easy to meet someone, should have left my ex ages ago! (jokes on that)…..There was a lot of lessons I learnt from this one guy, and one of the things was that all men react differently!thC4NLP9KR

I was so naïve, having been with my husband from such a young age, I just expected all men to talk like him, have the same responses, like to do most of the blokey things that he liked to do…….WRONG! I was completely shocked when this guy was responding to things I said, differently to how I expected, how my ex would have reacted…this was one thing that I found hard to wrap my head around that all men are different. And they think us women are complicated! Pfftt…that has certainly changed in my eyes, at least (most) women are complicated in the SAME way! Men are complicated in all different ways- these are some of the confusing comments I have heard,  don’t want to be told what to do- like to be told what to do, if they are romantic, don’t hold my hand in public- No! hold my hand, I will always pay for dinner- You should pay for dinner, Cant wait to go on a holiday with you- I never said that, Lets be monogamous- I certainly didn’t say that, WTF and WE are complicated?? Sometimes I think my head is spinning that much I am going to become Regan in the Exorcist!!! ( I think some men I have dated think I am her anyway!!! hahaha)

I had my best girlfriend staying with me, and she coincidently split with her husband the same time as me, we decided to go out to a bar one night, we were having drinks when these two brothers came up to us, this was really my first encounter with someone trying to “pick me up” we were talking to them, as well as we could, they were Swedish tourists who couldn’t speak English!! It was a stinking hot evening, and we decided we were going back home for a swim in my pool, the tourist brothers decided to come back to, I was so nervous, why would anyone think I am attractive, I’m old I’m 37, no one would want an old hag like me….this is how I felt, and to get attention from these two young guys was so flattering, albeit we couldn’t understand them! haha, so they came back for a swim too and one thing led to another and my girlfriend disappeared with the older brother, he was 29! I was left with the cute 25 year old….my head was spinning, this is flattering, but he is so young, I tried to tell him my age and I have no idea if he understood, I wasn’t going to see him again, he was leaving Australia….so anyway it happened!! It was the worst sex I had ever had!!!

But to realise that I was attractive to a man who was so much younger just gave me the ego boost I needed and my girlfriend felt the same way! We were then unstoppable!!!! haha    Fun Time Not a Long Time!243891-funny-taylor-swift-dating-joke

Anyway, back to my first date, he was 32 and I was nearly 38, I thought at that stage that I wanted to get straight into a relationship, isn’t that what you are meant to do? I had been in and out of relationships since I was 16, I was ready to get back on that horse again! However, 6 years younger, he was a part time model, widower, gorgeous to look at, (with my experience on internet dating alarm bells would have been going off on these things- I will explain this in later blogs) however he was so nice, kind, and said everything I wanted to hear, and I thought to myself, fore sure I could be in a relationship with this guy, I could easily wake up next to him for the rest of my life!

He didn’t take me out for dinner, just always wanted to come to my house when my kids were at my ex’s, smooch on the couch, and of course gradually lead to what all men want…sex, the thing about this guy that surprised me was his smooth operation, he told me he was a widower, even showed me photos of his sick ex, and told me he was nervous to be with someone else as he hadn’t been with anyone else since her passing 12 months earlier. Of course I was the sympathetic ear, and felt so much for him, then I went to the bathroom, walked back to the lounge and he wasn’t there, here he was NAKED on my bed with his hand under his head lying on his side just waiting for me!!!! WTF, so much for being nervous!!!!

And seeing as I had already broken the ice with the young tourist I was up for the challenge!!! haha….at least he was a tad older!

So of course because we had sex, I thought he liked me and wanted a relationship, wrong, he called me a couple of times, was meant to come over for dinner, I offered to cook , didn’t show, and then I didn’t hear from him again….I was devastated and couldn’t believe that this nice man would do that! Not so nice!!!…Today I would recognise that he wanted just one thing, back then I thought it was a relationship, but like a lot of men,  he wanted a Fun Time, Not A  Long Time!untitled

I don’t think there is anything wrong with it, and my personal opinion is ,when you get out of a long term serious relationship, you need to get out, let your hair down, feel wanted & attractive, and have different experiences, safely. Its not for everyone, and you need to understand to NOT get attached, Fun Time NOT a Long Time!

 

Happy Dating! 🙂

“I AM READY TO START DATING – WHERE DO I START?”

You are ready! You are over your ex…happy within yourself…and ready to take the leap!Young Romantic Couple Celebrating With Wine Stock Photo

The Dating world has changed a lot over the last 10 years. The old way was meeting someone across the room, your eyes would meet, and a romance would begin……..unless you are under 30 years old the probability of that happening is slim. But it can happen!

The latest way to date is online…..scary yes…but just as scary as going to a bar and talking to some drunk who is probably lying to you & trying to feel you up! There is a lot of stigma around internet dating but that is usually spread by married  or uninformed individuals who are naïve of the “single world”.

If you want to get out there Internet dating is the way to go. There are so many sites that you can view to feel comfortable before you decide to join. Tinder is by far the easiest – just sign in with a Facebook account and away you go….swipe right until your heart is content and if he/she swipes right for you too then you have a match! 🙂 You can start talking straight away and then decide if you want to give out a phone number to talk on the phone next. If you change your mind you can “un match” and they cant contact you again…….easy…….I have met some lovely men on Tinder  but Tinder is known for people who just want a casual hook up…if that is what you want then fine, but if not, make sure you ask them what they are looking for!

I think I joined RSVP around the time is was starting to get popular in Australia. I have been on and off the site for 11 years. I scrolled through the site as a visitor for a while before I felt comfortable in joining. You really do need to put a picture up to get the best contact and there is lots of help on the site to assist you in writing a good profile.

I have several friends both male and female that have met life partners on RSVP! Yes it is possible!  I even met a guy that I ended up going into business with for 6 years, the relationship didn’t work after 3 months but we remained friends and bought a business instead! I have many male friends that I still keep in contact with that I have met through dating sites and a lot of males that I do not want to see ever again! 🙂

Another popular site similar to RSVP is Plenty of Fish (POF), and two other sites to try which are  personality based, you fill in a very large questionnaire, and matches are sent to you according to similarities. These sites are EHarmony & Elite Singles…..there are hundreds of sites out there Match.com, Zoosk etc. You can be on any or all of them if you like. The trick is to find the site that best suits you…….go on get searching! 🙂